As I mentioned on Facebook earlier this week, I have received an increasing number of messages from friends about homeschooling. These messages range from "My child hates school, tell me all about homeschooling!" to specific questions about a curriculum we use, how high school would work, what groups we are involved in, ways I have helped my kids conquer their various quirks while we are doing school, how I'm maintaining any semblance of sanity (spoiler: I'm usually not!), and so on. I have been trying to answer people comprehensively (aka in my usual rambling wordy fashion), but I feel like I'm overloading everyone with my responses because there is SO MUCH information. So, I am going to try my best to post once a week highlighting one area of homeschooling, in the hopes that this helps answer questions in a more sane way for everyone.
To start out, I thought I would address the main question I receive:
"WHAT ABOUT SOCIALIZATION?"
I would bet solid money that if you asked all homeschoolers, “What question do you hear the most often?”, this would be it. And keeping it real, this was a hard one for me to get past as well. I wanted my kids to go to dances and sporting events and have the typical schooling experience. I worried that they would become freaky weirdos who couldn't interact in a normal way with their friends. I had to challenge all my preconceived notions of why going to school is the best way for kids to become well-adjusted members of society.
Disclaimer: Everyone who homeschools has to address this topic for themselves and their family personally. My opinions and views expressed here are based on my own thoughts and experiences.
There are many homeschoolers who see "lack of socialization" as a positive thing - they don't want their kids exposed to the society we live in these days. The sex, the drugs, the rock'n'roll (ok not that last part, I don't think...). But seriously, we live in a messed up world. So for some, the answer to "Hey freaky homeschooler, aren't you worried your kids won't be socialized?" is "Heck no, I want that!" And believe me, I get that. There are aspects of that I agree with. I'm happy my kids don't have to do active shooter drills or be exposed to *some* things at too early of an age. (I also think timed math facts testing is the devil and could go on a huge rant about that, but I'll save that for another time. And don't get me started on standardized tests.....)
But, on the whole, I respectfully disagree with that mindset. I do want my children to be exposed to the messier aspects of life that we maybe wouldn't encounter here at home, so we can have the big conversations and use them as teachable moments. I also want them to have experience working with their peers, forming bonds and maintaining friendships - the things a healthy well-run school would provide for them. I want them to be involved in their community, and yes be exposed to society. Not so they can conform to it, but so they can function in it, and be empathetic individuals who are aware of what's going on around them. So, in short (even tho I'm about to follow this up with many words), my answer to "what about socialization?" is: I am extra deliberate in the types of extra classes and activities my girls do, so that they are exposed to the things they are missing from school (and in our case, getting more than school would offer). In other words, we get OUT of the house and into the world as much as possible.
We meet up with friends as frequently as we can, travel, do field trips, volunteer in our community, and I have them signed up for the following classes/activities (after each, I have listed my reasons why, and what they are gaining by each experience):
Sports: different authority figure than MOM, teamwork, group of peers working together, pushing themselves to achieve results and reach goals.
Girl Scouts: problem solving, working with a group of peers towards a common goal, discussions about our world and what we can do to improve it, opportunities to be involved in the community, and again, a different authority figure.
Cub Scouts: Lulu just started this, and again, different authority figure, group of friends, plus a little more hard core in that she is learning survival skills and being challenged in a way she hasn't before. It's outside both of our comfort zones!! (especially those freakin uniforms.....)
Homeschool Group: for obvious reasons!
Online classes: live with a teacher - homework assigned by someone besides MOM, working with other classmates, making new friends. Or pre-recorded lectures - listening to someone else, taking notes, yada yada.
In-person classes*: actual live teacher in a classroom with other students - completely recreating the school classroom; this is a new thing we are trying this year with a local organization, kind of in the "trial" period for us. But it has the potential to provide a lot of what the girls miss in school - even student council and winter formal. The group is Quest for Education and Arts.
Bottom line: If "lack of socialization" is holding you back from homeschooling, please don't let it! While my kids are not in an actual school setting all day and may be missing out on some things because of this, I feel like a whole new world has opened up for us as homeschoolers to get involved in our community more than we would otherwise. They also have each encountered people from different backgrounds and been exposed to scenarios that have jump-started some important conversations about life. But again, everyone needs to think this topic through for themselves and decide whether they are okay with their kids having a different experience than the norm. 💕
